Probably a case of a ‘bad friend’, rather than a broken soul. As we go through life we often tell ourselves that we don’t want to be left without friends, so we put up with a bad friend, and if you are a good, and kind friend who offers support, you should not continue to put up with bad friends, and the time will come when you have had enough.
WHY DO I ATTRACT BROKEN SOULS?
Perhaps you let a friend treat you badly or make unreasonable demands on you because you think, ‘it will soon be my turn’. This is most probably a toxic relationship and some of the signs are:
- Someone who never repays favors.
- Cancels arrangements at the last minute.
- Doesn’t show up for an arranged meet up, you are sitting in the cafe waiting.
- Does not take any responsibility for her own actions.
- Shows no respect towards you.
If you are tolerating any of the above behaviors in a friendship, you are not placing enough value on yourself. Often this type of behavior is rooted back in childhood, you have probably known this person all your life, and it is time to lose them.
In order for others to value us, we have to value ourselves, and you don’t need a lot of friends, just a few good ones. Friendships require a healthy mutual interaction by both parties, something that does not happen in a toxic relationship.
WHY DO I ATTRACT TOXIC FRIENDS?
Sadly toxic friends hardly ever change, and you are going to have to move on and enjoy the company of those who really value you. There is an underlying vulnerability in our nature that allows us to tolerate this behavior and once you recognize it you can change it. If your friend is not offering you the following.
- trust
- affection
- support
- kindness
- respect
It is definitely time to move on as ongoing acts of meanness and disrespect should not be tolerated. You will save both time and money by ditching the friend now, and not giving them any more oxygen. By remaining in a friendship you are not helping them, as they won’t see how bad their behavior is if you continue to accommodate it.
REMOVING BROKEN SOULS, YOU DON’T NEED A TOXIC FRIEND
You will find that you have put up with this behavior for many years and have always made excuses to continue with the friendship.
- You don’t want to make a fuss.
- You don’t want to appear too emotional.
- You don’t want to appear negative.
- You don’t want to appear unsupportive.
- You don’t want to admit to yourself that the relationship is toxic.
The bottom line is that toxic behavior is not OK, and their behavior which is unacceptable needs to be called out.
Once you have acknowledged this, you are at a turning point in your life, and you will be able to move away from the toxic friend. If you require help doing this, consult a Psychologist, as they are skilled in dealing with this type of situation. You have learned a lot about the types of friendship that you want to have, and this person is not a friend, and you deserve better.
There is a very real difference between a friend who is going through a temporarily difficult time and a truly toxic friend, and as we get older and more experienced this all becomes much clearer. No one deserves a toxic friendship, and sometimes it takes an outsider to really see what is happening and to put it into perspective for us.
CONCLUSION
It is much better for you, to invest your time and energy into a friend who will reciprocate rather than waste time on a person who does not expend any time and effort toward you. This is a huge learning experience and once the person is no longer in your life, you will be able to reflect on the situation with much clarity and see them for what they were. There are times in our lives when we all attract broken souls, and we can learn not to do it again and to attract the right sort of supportive friend who genuinely has our welfare at heart.
